Dear Santa...

***note to self: please click on the white boxes if the images are not coming up!




This year my demands are simple, they are not complex like the ride in your sleigh I asked for year after year, instead, this year I want a ride in your Ford F150...I want an iced coffee to go along with it please.

This year I want some comfy pajamas, not the set I received once with a giant cartoon character down the front that my sister lived in for years, instead, I want a nightgown with Jem and the Rockers identical to the one I had as a child, only in my current size please.


I am not asking for a car this year, however, a jet or small to mid sized plane will do. The tempo kicked the bucket and isn't a floatation device and therefor will not make it across the Atlantic.

This year I will not make crazy demands for things like Foosball tables and treadmills as I have "supposedly" done in the past, instead, I would like all of you to come here...seriously.

This year I do not want barbies, dolls, My Pet Monster or a single Carebear, I want only my fiancee back for Christmas.

I am returning the "Sweater Dress" outfit I once received with a Green, white and purple cow strewn across the front, the "cow bell" strategically placed on the nipple, and I am instead requesting you send me the coat that Santa told Mrs. Clause was fugly..just for a good laugh.

I do not want jewelry only a final look at the silver shelled necklace that is "so me".

Instead of smoked Turkey I would like the Mrs. Clause, slow roasted option.

Instead of cougal with bow ties I would like cougal with egg noodles the way it should be.

Instead of Christmas in Korea....I would like Christmas at home.....
That is my wish for next year!

Convictions

And so it has been a while, a long while, since the last time I sat in front of this computer and felt compelled to write, to write about my days that seem to meld into one, my nights that are too short and now, the familiar feeling of missing Daniel that has once again found its way into my life. He will leave tomorrow for a two week trip to the Philippians and although the time will be well spent, I am hoping to fill my nights with writing and my days with staying at work and working, something I do not often enough, missing him is always hard, hard like missing home, and I dread it.

It is creeping into the New Year so fast, winter is here, fall is gone and one of the best years of my life is a mere breath away from being last year. This year I realized alot about me, I fell in love and I became more aware of the people around me and the qualities they posses that make me love, envy and respect them.

My father has just recently taught me the art of strength. Although I have always looked to him as a beacon of strength, only now do I realize how deep that strength is. To have two roads in lying in front of you and not only choose the one less traveled by, but the one which holds no map, has no direction and is left to be guided by you and you alone, to choose that one is an act of courage.

My mother has also shown me a kind of strength, the strength that shines through in times of trial, a strength that can only be found when doing something for the person you love most in life. When you are able to support someone through a decision, a decision that may affect your life, when you know it is the best decision for them, supporting them in itself is strength in its strongest form.

With Christmas coming I find myself missing home, missing the snow, my sister and my friends. I am both eager to go home and scared of the future. I am anxious to just get on with it and apprehensive about my role in the world. It will all fall into place as it always does, three years ago I would have never pictured myself here, in a small city in the south of Korea, sitting in my apartment wishing I wasn't sending my fiance off on a holiday, no, this would be the last place I would have put myself.

diamonds?

I don't know what it was today but something brought me back to a morning in July, maybe it was the funny mood I woke up in, the funny mood that makes Daniel crazy, but something happened that brought me back to July 11.

It was a morning when I woke up next to Daniel in Lindsey's room while he was visiting on a summer break and he looked at me and asked "what do you want for your birthday?".

I had answered this question more than a few times in the weeks prior to this morning, on the beach, in Boston, over a few drinks. On this morning however, I let "I want diamonds" slip out between my lips.
"Really?" he asked looking a bit perplexed and relaxed all in the same motion, "Really" I answered in the high pitch tone I have taken on in Korea when saying that word, usually replacing the "r" with a "l".
"Well then lets go look at diamonds."
Trying to act as if there weren't 400 butterflies running rampant in my stomach I quickly took a shower and got dressed. Not knowing what the day would bring I called my mother, snuck onto the back porch and whispered in the phone.."we are going to look at diamonds".

Twenty minutes later I found myself in a quaint jewelery store, or more boutique, a place where each ring is one of a kind, no two rings are the same. I had seen rings in magazines which I always thought would be the one I would one day have placed on my finger, but after looking at the second ring, in the first case, two rows down from the top, I knew it was that ring I wanted to have on my finger forever. Always having been a woman who isn't affected by diamonds in the way many girls are, never wishing I had one and never spending alot of money on jewelry becuase I was fearful I would lose it, I wasn't aware of the feeling that comes with finding a piece of jewelry, one that will hold so much meaning and is breathtakingly beautiful. I then knew as I placed the ring on my finger that feeling.

Moments later the ring went back in the case, we walked out of the boutique and my heart stayed behind? I walked out on to the sidewalk trying to hide my disapointment wondering if this was all a surreal dream, was the man I had fallen in love with simply playing with my heart? Was this some crazy joke, a joke on my pretend birthday day.

We went to lunch and spoke of...I don't remember, I don't remember because I think I was still thinking about the ring. I was still thinking about whether I wanted to spend my life with him...something I hadn't even thought of prior to that morning, only three hours before I found myself in that jewelry store.
Was I crazy? We had been together for five months. We had only met each other nine months before that morning when I walked into the library in a country I had been in only a week and saw him standing behind a pile of books. I had gone into that library every day for three weeks after that, looking to run into the handsome boy in the grey jumper. Over the next few months we would see each other, each time a smile swept across our faces in the sort of way that your eyes know to blink, we didnt tell ourselved to smile, it was the only reaction we knew.
Now that the thought had been dangled in front of me and ripped away in one fluid motion, I realized I did want that. I realized that the comfort, attraction and affection I felt for him was genuine and not the unhealthy forced feelings I had felt in the past.I was sure...I wanted to spend my days and my nights with him, I wanted to grow old with him and most imporatantly, I wanted to love him forever.

We finished our lunches and headed to one of my favorite restaurants for some drinks, a restaurant that sits two brick sidewalks and one one lane road across from the jewelry store. We ordered our drinks and talked of our dinner plans for that evening, where we would eat, what we would do and in the middle of a normal pause in any conversation he looked at me and said "I want to buy that ring for you. I want to marry you".
Usually, I am someone that cant say "OK, this is what I want". This time however, I just sat silently and nodded my head.
"I'm going to go see how long it would take for them to make it your size."
And off he went, walking across the street and into the store leaving me with the summer breeze blowing in my face.

I ordered another sangria and nervously drank it quickly. As I was finishing it I saw him emerge from the store a few minutes later.
" Go see what size you are."
"Huh?" I asked, the butterflies becoming anxious to escape.
"It will take an hour. Just go."
And off I went. Walking across the street and into the store.
The man had barely got the ring back in the case when he saw me walk in, smiling, slowly losing the ability to contain my excitement. He sized my finger, smiled and I walked back across the street to where he sat, in the open doorway of the restaurant.
"All set?" He asked.
"Yes" I answered.
"I'm going to go buy the ring" he said as he got up from his stool.
And he got up, walked across the street and into the store leaving me in the doorway of the the restaurant all over again.
Through the door and around the glare of the summer sun I could see only his reflection. I could see him pacing, I could see him giving a card, questioning the card, looking for another card and then I saw him leave the store, empty hands and head hung in defeat, my heart sank. Had he changed his mind in the five minutes since he left me?
"It wouldn't work. My card wouldn't work" he stated, disapointment seeping from his voice.

A quick trip to the bank to assure the overseas company that this wasn't a "suspicious" transaction and we were right back where we began. I was in the doorway of that restaurant, sangria in hand with the cool dusk air blowing on me as he was walking away, across the street and in to the store. I sat anxious, wondering if this was all a dream, yes we are both impulsive people, but...come on.
Before I was able to rationalize anything in my head I realized I had found the most amazing man while running in search of myself. I had abandoned all I knew only nine months before this moment, I had run searching for an answer and escaping my own demons, looking for everything but love for once in my life. And...what I found was amazing...my best friend. A man who treats me with respect, kindness and with whom I feel safe from the world. A man who I respect and who I look to with respet and admiration. A man who loves me for everything I am and I the same.
He reappeared, bag in hand and I instantly awoke from my haze,
"You cannot tell anyone about this. I have to ask your father and I will do that first. Seriously."
"Can I tell my mom?"
"No, no one", he answered in a stern and shaky voice.

We arrived back at my parents house to shower and get ready for dinner. I walked in, smiling ear to ear, letting the butterflies I had held captive all afternoon encircle me. "Come with me" I whispered as I leaned over my mothers shoulder.
The following hours were spent enjoying amazing champagne and amazing food, enjoying each other and the decion we had made together, enjoying some of our last hours together before we were separated for 2 months and rationalizing how he was going to go about telling my father.
Hours later he sat on my porch with my father. My mother and I sat in the bathroom, peeking out the window, watching as his face turned a little more pink, as he rubbed his hands on his jeans a little harder and as he began to speak in a more broken and anxious tone. In the midst of a pause in conversation he stated "I want to marry your daughter."
"You what?" The look on my fathers face was one of disbelief and immediate stress. "Are you serious?"
"Yes, I want to marry her. I love her."
"I'm going to bed. Goodnight". And my father got up and walked across the deck making it into the house and into the kitchen with Daniel behind him "Ray, wait, you cant go to bed."
My father realized that indeed he was serious, returned to the porch and they talked and laughed.
An hour later I found myself with Daniel kneeling in front of me...asking...
"Would you marry me?"

...and my eyes go numb

Side note: this photo is to demonstrate Fan Death. It is said, that to explain many deaths which people believe were results of alcholism, binge drinking, too much soju consumption, police officers and doctors and the powers than be created "Fan Death", if someone was to fall asleep in front of a fan they would die.

Another afternoon, staring at this screen and fighting the urge to take a brief nap at my desk. What a change from last year, hours, schedule, people.
My hours...the are horrible for me who is not a morning person, 9-5...up at 7:15 is not good for my soul.

The people are wonderful, each day telling me how wonderful I am and filling my head with kind complements, "teacher you are so beautiful"...."teacher you have kind eyes"..."teacher i love you"....other teachers come in to my office, look at me, speak a bit in Korean to someone else and then look to me and say "your re more beautiful each day". Although I know they could be lying...I don't think I have ever entered a job in the states and had my co-workers tell me such things.

I teach four lessons a day. Each lesson is prepared for me, I download it, print it out and tweek it a bit then execute it four times in a row each day. Go figure, by 12:20 I am finished, by 12:25 I am at lunch with Daniel and by 1:35 I am back in my office trying to stay busy.

One downside...in the summer...there is no AC. In the winter, there is no heat and there are open windows and doors EVERYWHERE! I don't get it. Come one people, it is freezing!

Tuesday thru Thursday I am at my city school which is situated between "old down town"...seems newer than the "new down town" but I don't ask questions and the University where Daniel works. So each day we go to lunch at our favorite "Wory Mandu" where the grandmother like woman welcomes Lea with open arms (I have begun preparing Daniel for America when they will not be so welcoming to dogs in restaurants).

We then grab a coffee or a "fruits juice" from "Sand and Food", this sand which shop owned by a nice couple who's children attend my school. There seems to be an influx of coffee shops opening lately, with names ranging from "Tom n'Toms"- the logo is very similar to that of Starbucks,to Tom's House- also another variation of Starbucks, Holly's Coffee, Coffee Holiday, Coffee Agoshi- which means old coffee man and our friend Eun Su's family recently opened "Ti-Amo", an Italian coffee and gelato cafe (the lemon is amazing and is the closest thing I have found to sorbet in this country). Today, as we stood outside Sand and Food we noticed a new sign inside "Tom's House" and a new sign to match going outside. Wondering if corporate Korea had taken over this mom and pop store we asked. As it turns, they are simply upgrading their product as it seems that these days there is more of a demand for coffee than for sandwiches.

It seems lately Daniel and I fall asleep talking of what we will do with the future...we will go to the states and then what? For how long? What will we do for work. I think his angst is a little greater then mine being that he will be staying at my house for a bit in a new country, however, I too am beginning to feel the stress of moving back. Korea is a wonderful place to go to get away from it all, to do some soul searching and try to figure out which direction o go in. However, going in that direction is the hard part.

So, it is 3:30pm now, I will drink my third green tea, check my facebook, check my email and then slither out the door around 4:15....

The Fuccons...

It has been a busy few weeks and so much has happened. I have been sick sick sick, traveled to each end of Korea and have woken up early far too many mornings in a row. Each morning the alarm goes off at 7:15, I get up, drink a cup of coffee, put it in the sick, at which point Daniel says "good morning babe- what time is it?" I answer with a quick 7:40 and jump in the shower. Daniel, who doesn't work until 5 on most days will sometimes muster up the energy to join Alroy and I on our morning ride to school, these mornings are usually mornings which are filled with come on, lets go, we are going to be late, hurry up, you can talk about it in the car. After years of thinking I was a morning person, I am finally admitting it, I AM NOT! No matter how early i try and go to bed, no matter how late I wake up, I am a bitch in the morning.

A few weeks ago we headed up to Seoul with 20 or so friends for a show at Walker Hill, John Digweed. Daniel and I headed up on Friday afternoon to beat the Saturday madness and get a good night of enjoying Seoul before the drunken madness began. Daniel and I wandered to Itaewon after getting a room at our favorite motel in Seoul, LIFESTYLES...4 hotels in a row, L-I-F-E...turns out E is not part of the chain, just kind of there. We had an amazing Greek Dinner after wandering up and down the street for 20 minutes checking out all the menus, When you live in Suncheon, so far from any food that remotely resembles deliciousness, it is a tough decision. On Saturday afternoon we went to our favorite restaurant with some friends, A Mediterranean hideaway, Gecko's Garden. The night before we actually stopped by there for drinks, where i gave Daniel a quick lesson on restaurant appartice and utensils. We are slowly trying to figure out what w\e want to do when we head back to the States, do we stay, do we stay at least until we have children, do we head to London, do we travel South America do we go to Hong Kong. Do we open a restaurant or does Daniel take his Masters with Honors and jump trades to be a plumber or carpenter? DECISIONS DECISIONS.
The next night we headed to Walker Hill with our friends that had joined us at the motel, costumes on we were ready to go. The show was amazing and Daniel got to meet Sir Digweed, his hero as he has come to call him. It was nice to see Daniel so happy, god-smacked almost, like a giddy school boy!

Around 5:30am I had had enough and I wandered in to the casino and played the slot machine. If it isn't enough that I am a foreigner in a mostly uniform society, at this point i was wearing a brigth pink wig and was falling out of my seat drunk. When I returned to tell Daniel my fun time was over and I was heading back to the hotel, he too wanted to try his hand in the casino. He walked out up $100 I walked out up $30.
This weekend was the Halloween Party, Daniel and Alroy aka DJ Parsnips put this party on last year and this year Alycia and I just helped get it ready. I of course began getting the flu and headed home a but early, it was fun ever the less.

Last night, Daniel and I sat on the couch, both sick with the nasty colds that come along with the bone chilling Korean winter, and we were amazed at what we were watching......."The Fuccons" a TV show, in which there are these mannequin like statues, the father has this creepy cross eyed look and a horrible under bite. The mother is constantly gasping...madness. Needless to say, in last nights episode, the little boy is in the room with a much older woman, who is, slowly undressing. With the news of the pedophile in Korea and the absolute inappropriateness of this show...how on earth does this make it on the air on TV? I can understand being able ot buy the DVD (which you can on Ebay) but on cable?
My students are unruly and today I walked out of class with two cellphones, four drumsticks, 2 pencil holders and a fist full of anger....
1. The students don't listen, to me or the Korean teachers
2. They talk over me, over each other and over and over.
3. They kick each other to the ground...there is nothing wrong with this here.
4. At this time, in winter, they all have runny noses and gross hands and like to run up to me and touch me.
5. I am sick and this week they are all just bothersome.

ma chigi bung bung...ma chigi!

So over the past few weeks I have learned some valuable lessons and experienced some new and exciting things:

A trip to Seoul made me realize how impatient I truly can be...as well as enlightened me to the fact that I am not made for a big dirty city!

I saw my first "love cock" exhibition in a subway in Seoul, can you think of a better place to display such a thing?


I have mastered the art of wasting between 5 and ten hours a day on the Internet searching between Facebook, Hotmail, Myspace, CNN and People.com.

I have shown a Korean family of four the art of pumpkin carving and they are now convinced it is a "ritual" or "ceremony", I said it was just for fun, they chose not to believe me.

I have had my breast felt by both a Korean woman and a Korean man...asked by the woman doctor, "does your partner suck very hard on your nipple?". Ummm...no.

I have tried to explain over the phone why I was at the doctors and resorted to saying, after 10 minutes of lost explanations, "My breast is sick. I will show you tomorrow."

I have taken an ice cold shower.

I have eaten Dukgook...(rice cake soup and my all time favorite meal) a record 30 times since coming back to Korea. To Koreans, each time they eat this meal the become a year older, that has me at 57....I wonder what happens when I hit 100.

I have taught Korean children how to play 4 square and am now trying to remaster it as I did in Middle School.

I have come to the realization and admitted that I need Daniel in my life. I think I have known since I met him, however, for the first time when I was sick it was him that I instinctively needed to hold my hand.

I have realized that I have become my mother constantly asking "does that belong there".

Its been a week!!! Pictures and more to come!

To Busan and back on 160,000 won

I don't know how I did it, considering my spending, especially when traveling can get out of hand, but I successfully made it to the other side of the country, shopped, ate, partied, slept comfortably and returned with only spending 160,000. I am well proud of myself.

On a less happier note, I have realized each Monday that I am behind trucks filled with chickens, stacked cage upon cage, maybe 14 high, where are they going? and now, after realzing what it is that is blowing into my car, I now have to drive to work with my windows up! Today when I leave I will tell my boss I will be 10 minutes late as to avoid being stuck behind the truck.

I also saw a random cow today, would have a picture but I forgot my camera at home!

Other than that, I am here in the library at my country school, bored out of my mind and very angry that Greys Anatomy hasn't been posted on line by anyone who does not speak french yet...come on!!!!!

Off to try and get some work done!!!

Fat Dog

That is what the t-shirt of this chubby little fifth grade boy read...Fat Dog. I asked them to pick their favorite food and then I listed off about ten items asking them to raise their hands when they heard the one they liked the most, this little child raised his hand ten times, each time with more and more enthusiasm. Too cute!

The weather has gotten warmer it seems, tomorrow is "Korea Day" and so we will head to the beach.
This morning we woke up a little more tired than usual, Daniel gave me his shpeel about why we really should sleep with the glass sliding door closed...noise...lights etc. and explained how last night was louder than usual. I just shook my head in agreement as it seems that we have this same discussion each morning.
As it turns out, once I got in the car with my friend Alroy he asked if I had heard the huge crash last night. Turns out there was a three car pile up...not on the highway but in our small parking lot!
Because of the way Korean people park, they block each other in, parallel park in between one another in a jigsaw puzzle format, doors unlocked, cars in neutral...some idiot pulled in, slammed into one of the cars which in turn smacked into the other making for a chain reaction...needless to say, the guy drove off leaving ga pile of damaged cars.

I refuse to park in the parking lot and will instead drive around for a half an hour looking for a spot. I have made the mistake of thinking I was in a place where I would not be blocked in only to come out the next morning and see how very wrong I was. Thankfully, in each Korean windshield there is a tiny pillow with the owners phone number crocheted in to it...genus.
Off to a Wednesday vacation...asssssa~!
xj

My new love....

And so my camera kicked the bucket...no warning, no I will be deserting you soon...simply...GOODBYE! Leaving me to do nothing more than drive to GUMO World in Gwangju on Sunday and purchase the most beautiful little camera in the world....

It's the pretty pink one and I am madly in love with it!

Speaking of madly in love...Daniel and I have been laying a little low since our Thanksgiving extravaganza weekend consisting of partying a bit too hard, drinking a bit too much and doing nothing that was even remotely productive.

This weekend we stayed in, I purchased Entourage at the store and am slowly helping Daniel become addicted!

Over the past few days I have witnessed some pretty outrageous things...today on my break from school I ventured into the little country town beside it, to find, in the land where there is never a farm animal to be seen, a cow in a trailer chillin out in the middle of the town square. If I hadn't left my cute little ruby behind I would have snapped a photo!

Today I am out at my country school, 30 minutes outside of the city, in the middle of a mountain range, where the flies are rampant and the children are slightly insane. Today I was convinced we were bring attacked by North Korea or even America as fighter jets flew over head swerving in and out of the mountains. I had this horrified look on my face as my students stared and laughed!

This week will be another short one, Wednesday is another red day on the calender. You see, when the number on the calender is red I know that I don't have to go to school, and in all honesty, that is the ONLY way I know not to go to school. No one tells me, no one warns me that no one will be there that day and they surely don't tell me the reason behind having the day off.

And so...tomorrow, being like a Friday...I am joining the girls for some chaotic fun!

kamakazi

*** T-shirt of the day...on a sixth grader who hasn't any idea what the words mean when put together..."Join the Marines. Travel to exotic countries. Meet interesting, unique people and KILL THEM."

Taking a half a day yesterday with a cold that I could feel consuming my body, for some reason, when i Korea I get double as sick as I do in America. Waking up from my nap I found a pretty pink slip of paper on my car, in Korean of course, but figured it was a ticket of some sort. After picking up Alroy, Jin Shul his girlfriend kindly translated the contents for us

1.YOU DID NOT PAY YOUR AUTO TAX.
2. WE HAVE TAKEN YOUR FRONT LICENSE PLATE.
3. IN ORDER TO GET IT BACK YOU MUST COME AND PAY YOUR TAX WITH IN 24 HOURS.

And so, at lunch Daniel and I ventured to city hall, with a little help from a friend we paid the last 2 years worth of tax on our vehicle and reclaimed our plates!

And so, today I came in refreshed and ready for my day of no classes, "Test Day" as it read on my schedule. I had heard talk of an evaluation, but not knowing what it entailed, I just went about my day! As it turns out I WAS BEING EVALUATED in addition to the rest of the school....being curriculum, building, classrooms etc. At 11am I was told that I would be teaching a new lesson with a Korea teacher to demonstrate our abilities to work together and the teachers ability to speak English. The teacher turned up 10 minutes late, I think she was a bit more nervous then I was and everything went well.

My school is very different from the elementry school experience i had as a child.
1. Each morning the head teacher, a butt smoking...soju drinking man who cranks butts out the side door all day, gets on the speaker and says a long list of Korean things. There is however no silence in the classrooms, they talk and yell over him.
2. At 10am all of the students gather on the dirt pitch outside my window for morning excersies.
3. The baseball players, the only sport which I belive they offer here at school, wear their uniforms EVERY DAY! They sit in the back of class and are not expected to participate or have any knowledge at all. I have taken to calling each of them, there is one in each of my seven classes, "Mr. Baseball"...they think they are kings.
4. There are mirrors in each of the hallways, offices, bathrooms, libraries, corners...these people are VAIN!
5. They eat off of metal lunch trays with 5 round compartments:
kimchi, rice, meal of the day (i have seen pork, shrimp and onions ect.), dried fish and seaweed, fruit.
It has gotten increasingly more interesting.
6. Each of the classrooms at my school as well as my country school, (by country school I mean a school which is in the middle of no where with a small amount of students) has a large flat screen tv, a huge flatscreen!

Life is a little different over here!

Glacial Greed Pussy

It may confuse you as it did me, the words Glacial Greed Pussy being paired together, where would you see such a thing? On the tee shirt of a sixth grade girl in my class. Unfortunately, my mind was focused on trying to figure out what on earth this could mean and forgot to tell her teacher it really wasn't appropriate. But how would I even begin to explain this? How can I through charade's, in a non-offensive manner, tell this child's non-English speaking teacher how inappropriate her t-shirt is?

And so I have spent the better part of my day, sitting in front of this computer, being told to shut it down about every 15 minutes or so, then being moved somewhere across the room, desk and all, set up again, and moved again, set up again and moved again, I am hoping this time it will be the last.

The weather has changed drastically and the sun is shining, rain gone and beach days ahead. One more day of teaching, Thursday is a "test day" when I will come in and sit at my desk from 9-5...myspacing and facebooking until my eyes fall out of my head. It could be worse, I could be back at my old job right!!!

Stacy, Alycia and I at Julianna's our first weekend in the city!
x

Soon to be....

***Highlight of the week....witnessing a father on his scooter with his son between his legs in front of him, his wife sitting behind him and in his arms...a new born baby....madness!

So 3 weeks or so in and I am almost fully adjusted. Still no phone, cable or internet but I am realizing I really dont need them...crosswords, soju, reading.... all that h with the amazing amount of spare time I seem to have in my days at school.

sitting, where I have sat since 9am, it's Monday and it is now 11:25... a single class is yet to show up!!! One of my co-teachers just came in and said, "oh, no second period". I said well first period did not come either. He looked perplexed, said ok, turned and left. Although having this time is nice, gives me time to catch up...I would have loved to sleep for a few more hours.

My weeks are easy, 3 schools, five days, 20 hours of teaching and 2 hours of volleyball and soju drinking on Wednesdays. Here they drink at school, the teachers that is, can you imagine the uproar if all of the teachers gathered in the NHS gym at 2pm for a game of volleyball, a few budlights, a few shots of jager and a pizza. It still amazes me the freedom their culture gives them to enjoy life in a different way then we do in the states. They are slowly catching on the ways of western life that create a more structured environment, suing people for mindless reasons, changing school programs, however, still their mindsets often revolve around being with friends and family and having fun.

I am teaching 6th grade in my school for the next 4 weeks, the same lesson, 7 times in a row, then on to the next one 7 times in a row again. It could be work for a robot, but, it can be fun if you are willign to put the time in and come up with good activities for the children.

This weekend Daniel and I headed to Yesou with some friends, such a beautiful beach! The weather went from rain rain rain (it rained consistently from 8/24-9/9...)to 90!!
While I was home the battery in our 1988 Hyandi also died. 75,000 won later it is runnign better than ever...minus a horn. The other day on our way back from the market the horn somehow got stuck on and remained so for 20 minutes. Needless to say, all pedestrians around us were annoyed and a kind gentleman came and disconnected it for us. Now....I am hornless...and have resorted to using my middle finger to show anger. Here in the land of few rules there are many ignorant, careless and eratic driverers, with no horn to tell them they are in the wrong, we now just scream out the window. They are often very suprised by this!

My apartment is much nicer this year, 3 good size rooms, a normal bathroom, galley kitchen and a nice veranda!!! The downside to living in Shidae- PAKAYBOOLAYS...COCKROACHS! I hate them! Each time I see one I instantaniously feel the urge to vomit. We have also learned that when you leave the dogs food out you get ants. Suppodsly ants and cockroaches dont coexsist in the same apartment, mine is the exception. And so, the race begns to keep an extra clean house!!!

Pictures coming soon....
x

beating pavement on the b side

i have been back in korea for a little over a week and i think the reality is finally setteling in. i thought this time around it would be easier with the absence of the unknown..no...its a little harder, there were no expectations before and now there are so many. everything was new and exciting and now it is my norm. on the flip side i am comfortable with me, my place in this socity and my wonderful new job...started today (a hungover saturday) by being introduced to the entire school via a broadcast into each room. now, i sit in the computer lab, on a beat up computer (hence the lack of proper punctuation) waiting for noon!

amazing how my life has sorted itself out, come full circle, how i stumbled upon an amazing man when it was the last thing i was looking for and now, my fiance. i have a wonderful family and a chance to experience anything i can! this year nothing is to be taken for granted!

i will keep better time with this now, alot more free time to write...maybe the book will really be done before I leave....

x

back where it all began....

In the states that is. I though the adjustment would be both harder and easier then it has been. Granted, it isnt like I have had to adjust to a new job as I am barely working. I am happy I made it back after my 49 hour journey just in time for Cory and Ambers wedding, it was so good to see everyone I had forgotten how much I had missed them!!!!

It is just adjusting to the mass chaos around me. I thought I would have far more anxity about the life I left behind however it is all so insignificant now. I am happy, genuinly happy for the first time that I can remember.

I think I have wasted most of the past two weeks waiting for Daniel to arrive...it will be a long month after he leaves.

I am beginning to prepare for next year, getting my ideas sorted and my plans more set! I certainly feel like my life is in a much better place this time around in so many ways!! I dont feel like I must get out of here, it is more I am enjoying my time and getting to see people I missed over the past year.

The next three weeks are sure to be a new adventure, as interesting and exciting as the past nine months in Korea. Daniel and I will venture up to Nova Scotia, The Lost River, Polar Caves, Mt. Jefferson, New York, Boston, CT and maybe Louisiana. Funny, I wont be too good of a tour guide as it will be my first time at most of these places. Then it is off to wedding time!!! It is so wonderful to be back home with my family, I cant believe that when I leave it will be another year befor I see them again!

a day at the beach

The weather here is getting progressively nicer, it is as if winter never happened. I am so used to the terribly winters of New England that the mildness of winter here has spoiled me and in my mind it has all just merged into summer.
The 50,000 won I spent on this 1988 Hyundai Excel has turned out to be a great investment. The things you talk about doing but can never get yourself around to doing on a hungover Saturday afternoon are now easier to actually jump on and get done. After weeks of talking about getting out of town and going to a deserted beach Daniel I headed to Yesou yesterday afternoon. A quiet seaside town that reminds me of Rye, NH, windy roads going up the rocky coast. In the middle of these winding roads is Mogwasa (spelling) beach. A little cove that has a great Yaegwon with rooms that you can rent for 30,000. We sat on the beach all day, built a fire and for a little while felt as if we we rent in Korea...its amazing how a change of scenery can remove you from your own reality.
I have seen some very random things this week out and around Korea. An old Ajoshi, Korean for elderly man, heavily intoxicated, attempting to ride his bike down a main road, failing each time. As it turns out his handle bars were backwards! Fast forward to the next day and as I am driving down what is a small highways comparable with Rt. 1 in Portsmouth, there is a Agima, Korean for elderly woman, being pushed in a wheel chair by her Agima sidekick down the middle yellow line of the road...madness!!!
6 weeks to go....

7 fridays to go

It is official I'm coming home...7 weeks from today, and as scary as it all seems right now, I am beginning to look very forward to it. I'm looking forward to seeing my family, I have had all these things around me sparking memories and thoughts of them more so lately then in the seven months since I left, someones handwriting that looks so much like my moms I swore she was in my classroom and had my self painfully convinced she had flown over to visit only to realize i was so very wrong. A Harley sitting on the side of the road that looked so oddly out of place yet I could hear my dad saying "the only real bike, i sold mine when we had you to put dormers on the house". And yesterday, in the middle of Home Plus there was a wedding dress, not a pretty one, but one all the same which sparked this insane desire to get home and start planning Lindseys wedding with her. To be the sister of the bride, to party all night with her in my fancy little dress. It will be a fun filled two months!!!
And on the other side...getting ready to return to my life here. I have my interview for next year on Sunday and am beginning to sort through my things and get ready for the long journey home. Leaving my car, well 1/2 my car...the other 1/2 has no license so surely he will have to find someone to drive it for him while I am away. It is scary to wonder what my life will be when I return. Will the relationships I have slowly built still exist?
My mind is in a funny place today, as close as I remain to those I have dated it has never been something that messes with my head or makes me hold on to them or long to be with them. I have this very healthy ability to look forward, to get to a certain point and realize that although the relationship didn't work I spent a part of my life with this person and still want them in my life. On the other end of it all are the ones which are not worth salvaging and I have become aware of how to realize this. I am returning to something I in a sense ran from but i am in a good place with it. Although it will take some adjusting, I dint think the void I imagined being there will be felt at all.
Off to say goodbye to some friends, they are all moving out and moving in at this point, I guess that's what life is all about after all!

Ladies Night....

Being deprived of contact with females it seems since being in Korea, I have found my self for the most part surrounded by men, which in some ways is good, it seems less drama filled and when single you don't have to worry about liking the same boy as your friend. However, it also has it downsides, I am used to having many friends, girl friends in which to confide, how do you can you call even your closest male friend and tell him what was said, good or bad, between you and the guy you may be dating. There are just certain things only a female can relate to. I have met many great women here and so, tonight I am having ladies night at my place. I have cooked all of my favorite appetizers and am ready for a fun night!!! Funnel and tequilla on hand!
I also became witness to the Korean version of jumping jacks today...an interesting concept that i am not to sure I will be partaking in any time soon, it looks more like a seizure than anything else. children jumping and thrusting their pelvis's and grunting in Korean, and this was only two of them, i can only imagine what an entire class full of them must look like. It was these same students who then chose to attack me, trying to jam their fingers in my bum and punching a kicking me...nothing beats a kindergarten class the moment you walk in to work.
So I am off, the ladies should be here soon.

April Fools.........A new kind of pollen

Being used to the New England seasonal changes and craziness Mother Nature hurls at us on a yearly basis, from Indian Summers to Blizzards and Hurricanes, I figured that I could handle the slight changes that the Korean climate offers. I have been sick twice since I have been here, both times far worse then any cold or flu I have had in the states. Over the past week or so I have had allergy like symptoms, a stuffy nose, mind you I have gone years with out a stuffy nose, and a cough that has gotten worse (not from smoking as I have been doing that for years...dont ask....a kind of cough that makes me feel like I have been working in a chemical plant.)
Today, as we walked around Suncheon we noticed that most cars were covered in this yellow polleny substance, and the smog/fog was thick and became more thick as the day progressed. All of my questions have been answered......
from yahoo:
South Korea on Sunday issued a nationwide warning against yellow dust blowing in from China and Mongolia, advising citizens to stay indoors to avoid the choking mix of sand and pollutants." South Korea on Sunday issued a nationwide warning against yellow dust blowing in from China and Mongolia, advising citizens to stay indoors to avoid the choking mix of sand and pollutants.

Officials at the Korea Meteorological Administration said the dust had blanketed much of the country on Sunday, with visibility in the capital Seoul at just three kilometres (two miles)Yellow dust -- fine sand from Mongolia's Gobi Desert which sometimes includes toxic chemical smog emitted by Chinese factories -- usually hits South Korea in the spring. It can cause respiratory disorders.

Fabulous......so now not only do i have to worry about contracting a cold sore each time the wind blows, cold sores or herpes as we know them are a way of life here, they are part of the culture, there is no fear of spreading them. I now have to worry about the toxins I am in from Mongolia and have been urged to purchase a stylish face mask, also an item of fashion that Koren people of all ages don on a daily basis. I think this is grounds for calling in sick...of course I would spend the day enjoying the breathtaking cherry blossoms, but I would wear my Chanel face mask!

Sundays and Swanboats

Spring is here....I thought as I got older the onset of Spring wouldn't ignite this desire to skip school, to run around haphazardly in the spring sun, but it still has me.
Thankfully, the nice weather extended in to the weekend and I was able to enjoy a touch of Boston in Korea, a smaller, mini, peddle fueled version of the Swan Boats. Daniel and I spent the afternoon peddling up and drifting down stream.

Getting ready for my interview for next year, for a job in Korea, whether it is the best decision on my quest to conquer the world I don't know, but it will have me back in a comfortable place for another year with triple the amount of vacation time and a much healthier teaching experience, I am looking forward to looking at Korea from a different perspective. I have also began looking as and being mistaken for being Korean...why not stick around, maybe soon I will pick up their terrific fashion sense!

Beginning to pack things up in preparation for the move home...I cant believe how fast it is coming, how excited and apprehensive I am all at the same time. Now I just have to get the ticket buying out of the way- it is unlawful what they charge for tickets these days!

And lastly the best conversation I have had with a student yet:
Alex who prefers to go by Allie, a student who grasps the English language amazingly, does his homework in which he has to utilize the word chin. I look over his notebook a realize he has written
"I have a beautiful chin."
Thinking he has misunderstood the words meaning I say "Allie, you have a beautiful chin?"
He coyly looked back at me and said, while rubbing his chin and grinning "would you like some?"
I giggled and he then replied
"want some more teacher?".

destination unknown

ahhh....what a holiday can do to you. I am completely opposed to Thursday holidays, they are asinine, honestly, the last thing I want to do tomorrow is go to work, after a wonderful sunny day today! And not to mention the poor kids of Korea begin their new semesters tomorrow, changing schools, changing teachers, changing friends, changing uniforms and entering the ever more demanding Korean educational system, I could not have survived it.

I think that all this chaos around me sent my head into a tail spin through the past few days, I have found this sudden sense of urgency to sort my life out, to sign my contract for next year and know where I am headed, to know what my future will be.

Korea- So I thought, coming back to Korea would be an opportunity to save more money and return to a place where I am comfortable, "where everybody knows your name" kind of lifestyle. I could leave many of my belongings here when I go home, making the traveling and relocating that much easier. Would I stay in Suncheon or relocate to a different city? I have seen more of this country than I have of the United States, and most of it looks the same. However, coming back my lifestyle would also be better, I would be in a public school with more vacation and a higher pay. This was what I thought I wanted.

Now I see things a bit more clearly, or more so in a different light. Would I return here and expect the same life? What is the purpose of coming back to a place that isn't home when the main purpose of me doing this is to continue growing, to continue learning about other cultures and to gain as much perspective on my life and my being as possible? Would I being doing it for any other reason then the ease which I could come back to it in? Would I be doing it to come back and continue relationships? Those aren't the reasons to return, a relationship can withstand time and distance when it is meant to be...sometimes you have to find it out the hard way and that isn't something I want to get in to. You aren't meant to run from great people but your aren't meant to form your future around them. I guess that isn't something I had really thought about coming here and now it sits heavy on my brain.

I could nip off to Japan, a great culture, a fun metropolitan atmosphere, where the air is clean and the streets are kimchee and dirt free. Where you can pee in the road and you cant throw your garbage out your window. I could leave my stuff here still, grab it on my way back through, and still be close enough to Korea if I am unable to let some of those relationships go.

Thailand would also be amazing, a mystery to me now as I don't know too much about it, only the stories I had heard and the exotic images I have painted in my head.

Hong Kong is another option, I have heard amazing things about Hong Kong, often times being referred to as a completely separate entity from China. However, I have also heard a lot of mixed things about working in China and have a feeling it is equally as "unclean" as Korea.

I guess the only way to figure all of this out will be a lot of research and a lot of soul searching. I have begun applying for jobs in all of these places and will just do what feels right when the time comes, I'll place it in the hands of fate to make the decision for me, that seems a lot less stressful.

"lets conspire to ignite all the souls that would die just to be alive"

I figured I would take tonight to write and gather myself, to try and plow through the writers block I have found myself in these past few weeks. For the first time in a month I have stopped, looked around and begun to reflect on what is happening around me. Of course, it didn't happen, the block wont dissipate just because i want it to and i have accomplished nothing that I wanted to tonight. I also think it is because it isn't really a block I am in, but rather a persistent voice in my head refusing to let me be honest with myself. You can only really write what you know and figuring that out is often the hardest part.
Coming in to this place in my life I swore off love, I swore off feeling anything for anyone and more so letting myself get attached to anyone in any way. I have now realized that this is both no way to live your life and in no way possible when you are a Cancer, a nurturer by nature, and that although there was a bad fish in your pond, that doesn't necessarily mean that they have all be soured.
Over the past few weeks my soul has kind of been cleansed, my mind has become more at ease and I have gained back some of ability to trust that I had lost. I have that giddy...cant wait until we meet again....middle school like butterfly feeling that I live for, that everyone lives for (i think so at least). What fun is life if you don't have someone to giggle with, to poke fun at and with whom to poke fun at the world with?
Although my life is in a sort of volley, back and forth between everything I thought I knew and the world ahead that I am trying to get a feel for, although I don't have a word that is proper in accordance with the standards society places around relationships to assign to this, right now, in this moment, I am genuinely happy, for the first time in a long time and that is enough for me. Simply happy.

Regrouping- and a few forgotten moments

The past few weeks have been a sort of whirlwind, of meeting new people, of learning that it is OK to let someone in again, of realizing that I know myself more now then I ever have and of having a bit of faith in someone for the first time in a long time.

We planned on celebrating a friends birthday at Black, a funky dance club previously mentioned, however, due to the fifth change in ownership, it was closed. We then decided to try and go to Hobak, in English, Pumpkin Club. When we, 20 drunken Waygooks approached the door, we were told no. We thought it was because we were foreigners however, it was because we were under the age of 30. So we took the party across the road to Elvis, a fun dive bar with possiblyy the largest vinyl collection in Korea, where the mood is set through the music the owner plays. The "cool" thing to do here, when drunk, in a foreign land as a man is to take your shirt off and display your manliness. For some reason the Koreans seem to love it.
(thank you kirsten for this picture....us shake'n ass in Black)

It was also at some point over the past few weeks that we executed Eyore! One night before heading out, Kirsten and I decided that it would be proper to put this stuffed animal out of its misery. As it turns out this thing had seen more foreigners houses then anyone would care to admit and I was the end of the line. And so, a knife was taken to his throat and we proudly carried his head and tail to the bar in the style of Lord of the Flies and displayed our kill for all to see. A photo shoot was set up and we turned the George Cloony of Suncheon in to a Mule!

At some point I also took to the art of bar stool fighting. Late night these bar stools are often used as weapons, transportation devices and flying objects! (again...kirsten thanks for the picture...Matt and I engaging in war)

I realized the madness of Korea again as I walked home from work tonight I was trying to figure out what was going on around me. Children were walking around the streets at 9pm, all of them on vacation but busy running from Academy to Academy...A chicken delivery moped with a Chicken driving.

The past few weeks have been filled with random events. I called in sick to work on Friday to be told by my boss that she would be over with an IV of grape sugar...I said no thank you and headed over to the hospital. Forgetting that the last time I had been there was for a period issue and so with no questions as to why I was there they sent me up to the OBGYN floor. My boss showed up and informed me that they thought I wanted to speak with someone about having a baby and she marched me down to pediatrics where they gave me 15 satchel's of random pills and sent me on my way. Needless to say I feel a bit better!

Welcoming the Year of the Pig

Valentines Day certainly made up for last years mishaps. We spent the night in my favorite restaurant, a quaint Samgupsal restaurant where the people are just lovely.
Thursday I ventured over to the "Miracle Library" with my students for a production of Cinderella and Little Red Riding Hood. I was a bit concerned about the time, my class periods are only 50 minutes long so I figured the students would have to get up in the middle of the performance to catch their bus. Well, 20 minutes after the production began it ended. How they did it I don't know, but they managed to cram all of the details and a few added suprises of both fairy tales into a quick and humorous 20 minutes. Again, ended up in my favorite restaurant with some friends, I have never been surrounded by so much bacon and not eaten any of it. I get so consumed in drinking soju that I forget to eat.
There are many traditions that surround the Korean art for of enjoying dinner, one of which is offering soju to someone who has earned your respect or done something nice. Two gentlemen were kind enough to lend us their table when we walked in with six people. We then approached them with soju glasses and soju offering our thanks. As it turns out we did something in correct because on their way out they stopped to inform us, for 15 minutes, in Korean. Although we couldn't understand them, the tone in their voices said enough.
It was the Chinese New Year throughout Asia...a long weekend for me...which turned out to be a very relaxing and entertaining one.
Friday night I ventured to "Black Club", more like a hole in the wall that resembles my basement in college. Dancing away I was instantiously suprised when Gav and Trev walked in due to their inability to catch a bus to Pusan. I LOVE THEM!
Saturday found me spending most of the day doing nothing and swearing off drinking. Daniel and I went to Outback for dinner thinking it would be a nice afternoon event, only to find ourselves out until 3 that morning...waking up again the next day disappointed in ourselves. There is the great little chicken place underneath Juliannas that offers the coziest booths that seem to suck you in.
Sunday we went to the batting cages and I suprised myself with how well I am still able to hit the ball. Men of all ages stop in sparaticly in all kinds of attire to take a swing, girlfriends watching quietly from the sidelines. I guess you cant find a cheaper way to relieve some stress, 300 won for 15 balls, the equivalent of .30 cents.
We then ventured to Lotte Inves, the newest apartment complex showroom. They construct these beautiful buildings offering examples of what the new apartments will look like, amazing. They are trendy and upscale offering all of the latest technologies. Daniel and I explored each one pretending that we would be purchasing an apart in the near future. Books on display for some reason were all in English, one about Ronald Regan came from the library of a man in New Jersey. Who would think, when writing a book, buying a book or selling a book that it will end up with a price tag of $1.00 and end up in a display apart in Korea.
A round hut like sort of structure with a picture of a cow with a piercing through its nose.
As it turns out this restaurant has the largest gay population in all of Suncheon. Our waiter was running around through the restaurant trying to keep up with the demanding customers, while we watched what seemed to be groups of gay men enter and enjoy in the atmosphere. You see, in Korea, there are no "gay" people as there are no people with special needs, AIDS or cancer, they create a Utopia where everyone is straight, disease free and beautiful society...a nice false hood to live in I suppose, I find it to be disgusting. It is unnerving to never see the other side of society, the one that is not out every night drinking soju dressed in the latest Korean fashions, it is all a farce.

Valentines Day.....take one

Another holiday in Korea...this one however I am determined to make better than last years Valentines Day which was absolutely miserable and certainly worth taking a Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind approach to.
In Korea there are three versions of Valentines Day, just another attempt at capitalizing on the public's desire to shower their friends with gifts.
Take one: Valentines Day in February is less about love and more about chocolate, more so girls giving boys chocolate. I was lucky, most females receive nothing, however, my 4 o'clock class of boys devoted their day to making sure I was happy! I loved it. Coming from America, where Valentines Day is about love and loving, they love me!!! Ha ha, one student exclaimed "Janna Teacher, chocolate no, but....I LOVE YOU!"

Take two:White Day in March is about boys giving to girls, not chocolate but candy...maybe girls are just sweeter. I am not sure of what else will ensue on White Day, but I cant wait to find out. If my 4 o'clock boys loved me today they will certainly love me on White Day.

Take three: Black Day. At first I was a bit taken back by this, are single people seen as the black sheep? In Korea there is an odd stigma that surrounds women over the age of 25 that are unmarried, they are seen almost as lepers, as rejects of love. I guess then, I am one of them.
In America there is the same sort of feeling I think, once you hit 25 people start being more inquisitive into your love life, wondering if you have a boyfriend and if so, when you will get engaged and then when you will get married and when you will have children. But here in Korea, they celebrate the single instead of leaving them out, Black Day, the day of eating Black Noodles.
It reminds me of the Sex and the City episode when Carrie losses her shoes and realizes that there is no single girls shower, that there are no wedding gifts and shower gifts for the girl who chooses to remain single...Birthdays don't count, everyone has one.
And so, I look forward to indulging in Black Noodles when the time comes.
And so....I am off....I do indeed have a Valentine, how ever cheesy that is, and he is wicked... and I love it... everyone needs a Valentine.
I think it is my mad love of love getting the best of me .
Happy Valentines Day!!!!!!!!

Rabbitt, Rabbitt the unconventional way...

February is already here, I cant get my head around it. How is time flying by so fast? This week was an unconventional one, learning about Korean food, Korean men and the art of drinking excessive amounts of soju.
I went out for Song-gip-sa last night, thick pieces of what looks like bacon that you cook on a grill in front of you. To my surprise I enjoyed it. I think I enjoy the ambiance of Korean dining more then the actual art form. Inside what looks like a run down building is this quaint eight table restaurants with tree stumps as the table chairs. The kind man who may work there but we aren't sure, sat down with us, drank soju, began cooking our meal and then complained when I, the only woman at the table wasn't cooking. I guess that is one cultural medium, men love to be cared for.
I also realized this week that Korea is one of the only places that I know of where drinking is encouraged on the job. I walked into school Thursday morning already slightly hung over to one of my co-teachers handing me a bottle of homemade wine and a glass "drink this today". The day was interesting and I ended up feeling worse then when it began.
I also explored some new movies this week, (this blog is so lame huh), Boondocks Saints, someone somewhere along my travel through life highly recommended it, I highly disagree other than the great Boston setting. I also saw Shaun of the Dead, and again....do not recommend it.
Well....enough....the weekend is here....I hope Monday takes its time coming!

and she got her groove back...

...and that lonely feeling that followed me around all week has now disappointed, its amazing what time can do. I'm back!

After spending the past few months figuring out how to teach, I think I have finally grasped part of it. I am doing a great project with my classes this month, one that doesn't have me talking for 35 minutes and one that has them interested...it is an amazing concept.

Today I woke up far too early for a Saturday and met one of my students for a little bit of sightseeing. He brought me to a beautiful restaurant that overlooks the ocean in Yesou. I then went ice skating with 9 of my students...madness I tell you madness. The ice skates them selves are totally different from those which I am used to. The boot is a ski boot like apparatus that is not the slightest bit flexible so you leave with cuts in your legs. The blades of the skates have no grooved tip, therefor I had to learn to skate all over again. They cram 200 kids on to a small rink with 5 large polls in the middle. There are children falling all over the place, other children then falling over them. I lasted 10 minutes and then had to remove my self from the madness. I tired to take some pictures but my batteries were dead. Gav later informed me that he had replaced my batteries with his dead ones...thanks love.

Out with Tony tonight and then to dinner with Gav and Trev tomorrow....then its Monday all over again. Id give anything to erase Monday from calender!

I really don't know much of anything at all...

I have spent most of today reflecting on the ever evolving time I have spent here trying to figure out when things change exactly, when it went from being excited to being a new life, to actually living that life. When it went from everything being so new and my time here seeming unending, to beginning to wonder where I will store my stuff, how will I ever get everything home. It is five months away but over the past week I have realized it is haunting me on a day to day basis and now I am determined to find a cure for this anxious feeling that it is giving me.

I think a lot of it has to do with this kind of standstill I am finding myself in this week, the odd feelings that come with returning from any vacation, when you don't know if you can actually return to work, when you don't really want to be around anyone and when you really don't know much of anything at all. I give myself until Monday.

This week has actually been an enlightening one. I have realized that I love editing, I love the complexity of the English language, and although the word Grammar is gross, I love it. I love making proper sentences out of garbled ones and I love taking a simple sentence and making it complex using nothing other than words and punctuation. I know, this is all crazy talk, however, this is why I am coming to realize that I love editing. I looked at one of my students today, who, for the first time wrote a complete sentence (in terms of a six year old who is learning a second language). "Because I was sick I did not go to school." My first reaction, edit edit edit....I was sick today so I did not go to school. I began to let the words "you never begin a sentence with because" escape my mouth and remembered....NO.....it is OK. I am struggling with abandoning all that was drilled into my head growing up regarding sentence structure and word placement, not beginning with and, and certainly, in most cases, never, when listing things, put a comma after or before the and, i.e. I carried my bag, books, pencil, and shoes to school. It makes me cringe, but, I am learning to forget until it matters. Teaching a seven year old how to properly list things when they are struggling with "my name is chaley" and yes his teacher has taught him to spell it that way, just isn't fair.

And so...today I decided a few things: I would love to be a chef- this coming from reading a Time Magazine article on Julia Child's and her fabulous and interesting life. I would love to be an editor- this coming from my love of editing- obviously. My desire to write for a travel magazine- why not combine my two favorite things, writing and traveling. I miss the restaurant industry- I think I long to eat out simply to be in the environment- even though it is so different here. And what did I do with all of these thoughts and desires? Well, I applied for a teaching job in Korea for next year- I can write, freelance for a travel magazine on my holidays, read some good cooking magazines and decide if that is for me, while finding fabulous things and places where ever I am.

Another garbled mess!