Convictions

And so it has been a while, a long while, since the last time I sat in front of this computer and felt compelled to write, to write about my days that seem to meld into one, my nights that are too short and now, the familiar feeling of missing Daniel that has once again found its way into my life. He will leave tomorrow for a two week trip to the Philippians and although the time will be well spent, I am hoping to fill my nights with writing and my days with staying at work and working, something I do not often enough, missing him is always hard, hard like missing home, and I dread it.

It is creeping into the New Year so fast, winter is here, fall is gone and one of the best years of my life is a mere breath away from being last year. This year I realized alot about me, I fell in love and I became more aware of the people around me and the qualities they posses that make me love, envy and respect them.

My father has just recently taught me the art of strength. Although I have always looked to him as a beacon of strength, only now do I realize how deep that strength is. To have two roads in lying in front of you and not only choose the one less traveled by, but the one which holds no map, has no direction and is left to be guided by you and you alone, to choose that one is an act of courage.

My mother has also shown me a kind of strength, the strength that shines through in times of trial, a strength that can only be found when doing something for the person you love most in life. When you are able to support someone through a decision, a decision that may affect your life, when you know it is the best decision for them, supporting them in itself is strength in its strongest form.

With Christmas coming I find myself missing home, missing the snow, my sister and my friends. I am both eager to go home and scared of the future. I am anxious to just get on with it and apprehensive about my role in the world. It will all fall into place as it always does, three years ago I would have never pictured myself here, in a small city in the south of Korea, sitting in my apartment wishing I wasn't sending my fiance off on a holiday, no, this would be the last place I would have put myself.