It is official I'm coming home...7 weeks from today, and as scary as it all seems right now, I am beginning to look very forward to it. I'm looking forward to seeing my family, I have had all these things around me sparking memories and thoughts of them more so lately then in the seven months since I left, someones handwriting that looks so much like my moms I swore she was in my classroom and had my self painfully convinced she had flown over to visit only to realize i was so very wrong. A Harley sitting on the side of the road that looked so oddly out of place yet I could hear my dad saying "the only real bike, i sold mine when we had you to put dormers on the house". And yesterday, in the middle of Home Plus there was a wedding dress, not a pretty one, but one all the same which sparked this insane desire to get home and start planning Lindseys wedding with her. To be the sister of the bride, to party all night with her in my fancy little dress. It will be a fun filled two months!!!
And on the other side...getting ready to return to my life here. I have my interview for next year on Sunday and am beginning to sort through my things and get ready for the long journey home. Leaving my car, well 1/2 my car...the other 1/2 has no license so surely he will have to find someone to drive it for him while I am away. It is scary to wonder what my life will be when I return. Will the relationships I have slowly built still exist?
My mind is in a funny place today, as close as I remain to those I have dated it has never been something that messes with my head or makes me hold on to them or long to be with them. I have this very healthy ability to look forward, to get to a certain point and realize that although the relationship didn't work I spent a part of my life with this person and still want them in my life. On the other end of it all are the ones which are not worth salvaging and I have become aware of how to realize this. I am returning to something I in a sense ran from but i am in a good place with it. Although it will take some adjusting, I dint think the void I imagined being there will be felt at all.
Off to say goodbye to some friends, they are all moving out and moving in at this point, I guess that's what life is all about after all!
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