Dear Korea

Note- this was written when I first arrived, maybe a month into my journey, homesickness still fresh on my shirt, a look of being lost in a new world on my face at all times. I have composed this letter to Korea- as if it were a single person. Not to be taken in a rude manner, but more so as a list of reasons as to why it may be difficult for any foreigner- from any part of the world- to get along here with out aggravation- I have come to call these "Cultural Abnormalities" which may seem like I am being close minded, but some of them are too large to simply be called "Cultural Differences".

Dear Korea,

I have been here only a short month and a half and yet I have realized so much about you in this short time. You have welcomed me with open arms on the the surface, yet often, the stares and glares make me feel as if I will be attacked at any moment.

I must say that for a culture of people who are always running somewhere, pushing by with out an excuse me, cutting in line and barging into others, you certainly move very slowly. You walk without purpose, never moving out of an other's way. Where I am from, and in many other parts of the world, a simple excuse me will do, but I am here, so I too barge into people and giggle as I walk away. Why is it that you swear at me? I am only trying to fit in.

Working as a teacher, attempting to teach the youth of Korea the English language, I am appalled by the lack of respect and manners your children demonstrate in the classroom. There is never a hand raised, I have proposed and attempted to enforce this rule, and have been ignored. There is no respect paid when the teacher is talking or even a fellow student. I know, I have been a student also, and sometimes you just cant wait to tell your friend about the great new song you heard, but whisper, don't yell, and certainly don't shush the person who is reading aloud, participating in class. If you could, in your public schools, begin implementing some sort of order.

It is wonderful that you recycle, more religiously than most other countries, however, it does not help to recycle on trash day if for the rest of the week you open the front door and toss the trash into the street If you don't dump your wasted food on your neighbors lawn there may not be such a horrible stench of garbage filling the air.

In a country that prides itself on being thin and healthy and blames America for the development of cancer and AIDS, how is it that everyone in this country smokes? You smoke in schools, in the bathrooms, in restaurants, the airport, my director said to me..."Please don't smoke in front of or around the school I don't want people to see you, so just smoke in the bathroom." THE BATHROOM IS:

A)the same restroom the children use
B)right as you enter the school.

I never really understood when people said I was a bad driver, or that I scared them, or that they thought I should slow down, and now I realize more and more. Here, in Korea, land of the free and land of no police officers, you can drive as you please, you need no blinker, you need no doors on your car, just be sure to go fast! Here, people of all ages drive mopeds and scooters, I can not picture my mother let alone either of my grandmothers hopping on a scooter and throwing her bag of dried peppers on the back , and then flying through a red light at 70 honking at any motorist or pedestrian that got in her way. This is how you do it. You swerve, you shut your headlights off frequently while driving, for 2 reasons, to save "battery power" (huh- my car is yet to die while running because I had the lights on for too long) and as a sign of courtesy so you do not bother those around you! Doesn't it make sense to leave them on so those around you know that you are there??!! There is something scary about being in the back seat of one of your taxi's that makes me wish I had walked, however, there is a thrill to it, if you get pulled over I don't have to pay the ticket I can just enjoy the ride.

As driving is a free for all, it is also a free for all when attempting to cross the street. Although the light maybe be green saying, "come lonely pedestrian, foreign pedestrian who can be a prize for any Korean if hit" there seem to be no laws against running red lights, simply throw on your hazards, a slight beep of your horn (which sounds like a fog horn) AND GO! If you are a pedestrian, run, you will not stop or even swerve to miss me, it is my job to move out of your way! Please, use some caution when driving on the sidewalk, this is the one place where I will continue to hold my ground.

Recently I have become acquainted with the laws surrounding the construction industry here in Korea, or lack there of. A month after I got here I left for a short vacation to Japan and upon returning, the nice garden outside my second floor window was morphed into a foundation. I understand that your boss would really like the job completed in a timely fashion,however, you have now been working six days a week, 20 hours a day on this building, welding, pouring concrete, banging and at times it seems as if you are forming a band and seeing how loudly you can bang the tools together. I understand you have work to do but please follow these guidelines- Monday thru Friday 9-8 and Saturday from 3pm-midnight. Sunday is the sabbath, please feel free to stay home. And if you are just going to sleep on the job, please start a little later.

Working in the private sector of the Korean school system is very challenging...for many reasons:

A) The students are over worked, therefore they have no desire to listen to me, the twentieth foreign teacher they have had, ramble on in a language their parents are MAKING them learn.
B) Korean mothers often times are housewives. Housewives who are not loyal to their husbands and are pretty miserable b/c their husbands work all day and party all night leaving them to tend to the children. So what better a way to vent your aggravation then to harass the English Academy your child is attending. Because the school is private and funded solely through the admission cost- 200,000. W a month, the last thing the school is going to do it let you give any of the students a grade less than an A- or tell their parents that they misbehave- you must lie and tell them they are the perfect student, so then when they come calling a month later wanting to know why little Johnny cant say as much as Hello is English you have no answer for them. Korean mothers are more overbearing then any parent I have ever encountered in America, even the most on their game, demanding, I want the best for my child American parent has nothing on some of these crazy Korean mom's. I am YET to see a Korean father anywhere but at a Nori Bang!
Please- Housewives of Korea- put your foot down, get a life and get off my back!

It amazes me that you frown upon nose blowing in public, yet, it is condoned, or encouraged to blow a snot rocket while walking down the street? Could someone explain this to me?

You have a restaurant on every corner, most of them selling the same horrible smelling food. And, as in many other places, you all deliver. I know that you are trying to do the whole recycling thing and therefore deliver on your nice china, returning later to pick it up. Please, through some kind of mass marketing, either ask your customers to wash their dishes before placing them in the hall way of their apartment buildings to be picked up or pick them up in a timely fashion. Over the past week the gentleman down the hall has been growing a new breed of Kim chi outside of his door on your beautiful china. In reference to this, I also ask that you exercise some sort of caution, where a helmet, don't smoke while driving your scooter and when driving on the sidewalk...watch out for me.

(I am happy here but will appreciate all of my "norms" once I am back on US soil)