a day at the beach

The weather here is getting progressively nicer, it is as if winter never happened. I am so used to the terribly winters of New England that the mildness of winter here has spoiled me and in my mind it has all just merged into summer.
The 50,000 won I spent on this 1988 Hyundai Excel has turned out to be a great investment. The things you talk about doing but can never get yourself around to doing on a hungover Saturday afternoon are now easier to actually jump on and get done. After weeks of talking about getting out of town and going to a deserted beach Daniel I headed to Yesou yesterday afternoon. A quiet seaside town that reminds me of Rye, NH, windy roads going up the rocky coast. In the middle of these winding roads is Mogwasa (spelling) beach. A little cove that has a great Yaegwon with rooms that you can rent for 30,000. We sat on the beach all day, built a fire and for a little while felt as if we we rent in Korea...its amazing how a change of scenery can remove you from your own reality.
I have seen some very random things this week out and around Korea. An old Ajoshi, Korean for elderly man, heavily intoxicated, attempting to ride his bike down a main road, failing each time. As it turns out his handle bars were backwards! Fast forward to the next day and as I am driving down what is a small highways comparable with Rt. 1 in Portsmouth, there is a Agima, Korean for elderly woman, being pushed in a wheel chair by her Agima sidekick down the middle yellow line of the road...madness!!!
6 weeks to go....

7 fridays to go

It is official I'm coming home...7 weeks from today, and as scary as it all seems right now, I am beginning to look very forward to it. I'm looking forward to seeing my family, I have had all these things around me sparking memories and thoughts of them more so lately then in the seven months since I left, someones handwriting that looks so much like my moms I swore she was in my classroom and had my self painfully convinced she had flown over to visit only to realize i was so very wrong. A Harley sitting on the side of the road that looked so oddly out of place yet I could hear my dad saying "the only real bike, i sold mine when we had you to put dormers on the house". And yesterday, in the middle of Home Plus there was a wedding dress, not a pretty one, but one all the same which sparked this insane desire to get home and start planning Lindseys wedding with her. To be the sister of the bride, to party all night with her in my fancy little dress. It will be a fun filled two months!!!
And on the other side...getting ready to return to my life here. I have my interview for next year on Sunday and am beginning to sort through my things and get ready for the long journey home. Leaving my car, well 1/2 my car...the other 1/2 has no license so surely he will have to find someone to drive it for him while I am away. It is scary to wonder what my life will be when I return. Will the relationships I have slowly built still exist?
My mind is in a funny place today, as close as I remain to those I have dated it has never been something that messes with my head or makes me hold on to them or long to be with them. I have this very healthy ability to look forward, to get to a certain point and realize that although the relationship didn't work I spent a part of my life with this person and still want them in my life. On the other end of it all are the ones which are not worth salvaging and I have become aware of how to realize this. I am returning to something I in a sense ran from but i am in a good place with it. Although it will take some adjusting, I dint think the void I imagined being there will be felt at all.
Off to say goodbye to some friends, they are all moving out and moving in at this point, I guess that's what life is all about after all!

Ladies Night....

Being deprived of contact with females it seems since being in Korea, I have found my self for the most part surrounded by men, which in some ways is good, it seems less drama filled and when single you don't have to worry about liking the same boy as your friend. However, it also has it downsides, I am used to having many friends, girl friends in which to confide, how do you can you call even your closest male friend and tell him what was said, good or bad, between you and the guy you may be dating. There are just certain things only a female can relate to. I have met many great women here and so, tonight I am having ladies night at my place. I have cooked all of my favorite appetizers and am ready for a fun night!!! Funnel and tequilla on hand!
I also became witness to the Korean version of jumping jacks today...an interesting concept that i am not to sure I will be partaking in any time soon, it looks more like a seizure than anything else. children jumping and thrusting their pelvis's and grunting in Korean, and this was only two of them, i can only imagine what an entire class full of them must look like. It was these same students who then chose to attack me, trying to jam their fingers in my bum and punching a kicking me...nothing beats a kindergarten class the moment you walk in to work.
So I am off, the ladies should be here soon.

April Fools.........A new kind of pollen

Being used to the New England seasonal changes and craziness Mother Nature hurls at us on a yearly basis, from Indian Summers to Blizzards and Hurricanes, I figured that I could handle the slight changes that the Korean climate offers. I have been sick twice since I have been here, both times far worse then any cold or flu I have had in the states. Over the past week or so I have had allergy like symptoms, a stuffy nose, mind you I have gone years with out a stuffy nose, and a cough that has gotten worse (not from smoking as I have been doing that for years...dont ask....a kind of cough that makes me feel like I have been working in a chemical plant.)
Today, as we walked around Suncheon we noticed that most cars were covered in this yellow polleny substance, and the smog/fog was thick and became more thick as the day progressed. All of my questions have been answered......
from yahoo:
South Korea on Sunday issued a nationwide warning against yellow dust blowing in from China and Mongolia, advising citizens to stay indoors to avoid the choking mix of sand and pollutants." South Korea on Sunday issued a nationwide warning against yellow dust blowing in from China and Mongolia, advising citizens to stay indoors to avoid the choking mix of sand and pollutants.

Officials at the Korea Meteorological Administration said the dust had blanketed much of the country on Sunday, with visibility in the capital Seoul at just three kilometres (two miles)Yellow dust -- fine sand from Mongolia's Gobi Desert which sometimes includes toxic chemical smog emitted by Chinese factories -- usually hits South Korea in the spring. It can cause respiratory disorders.

Fabulous......so now not only do i have to worry about contracting a cold sore each time the wind blows, cold sores or herpes as we know them are a way of life here, they are part of the culture, there is no fear of spreading them. I now have to worry about the toxins I am in from Mongolia and have been urged to purchase a stylish face mask, also an item of fashion that Koren people of all ages don on a daily basis. I think this is grounds for calling in sick...of course I would spend the day enjoying the breathtaking cherry blossoms, but I would wear my Chanel face mask!

Sundays and Swanboats

Spring is here....I thought as I got older the onset of Spring wouldn't ignite this desire to skip school, to run around haphazardly in the spring sun, but it still has me.
Thankfully, the nice weather extended in to the weekend and I was able to enjoy a touch of Boston in Korea, a smaller, mini, peddle fueled version of the Swan Boats. Daniel and I spent the afternoon peddling up and drifting down stream.

Getting ready for my interview for next year, for a job in Korea, whether it is the best decision on my quest to conquer the world I don't know, but it will have me back in a comfortable place for another year with triple the amount of vacation time and a much healthier teaching experience, I am looking forward to looking at Korea from a different perspective. I have also began looking as and being mistaken for being Korean...why not stick around, maybe soon I will pick up their terrific fashion sense!

Beginning to pack things up in preparation for the move home...I cant believe how fast it is coming, how excited and apprehensive I am all at the same time. Now I just have to get the ticket buying out of the way- it is unlawful what they charge for tickets these days!

And lastly the best conversation I have had with a student yet:
Alex who prefers to go by Allie, a student who grasps the English language amazingly, does his homework in which he has to utilize the word chin. I look over his notebook a realize he has written
"I have a beautiful chin."
Thinking he has misunderstood the words meaning I say "Allie, you have a beautiful chin?"
He coyly looked back at me and said, while rubbing his chin and grinning "would you like some?"
I giggled and he then replied
"want some more teacher?".

destination unknown

ahhh....what a holiday can do to you. I am completely opposed to Thursday holidays, they are asinine, honestly, the last thing I want to do tomorrow is go to work, after a wonderful sunny day today! And not to mention the poor kids of Korea begin their new semesters tomorrow, changing schools, changing teachers, changing friends, changing uniforms and entering the ever more demanding Korean educational system, I could not have survived it.

I think that all this chaos around me sent my head into a tail spin through the past few days, I have found this sudden sense of urgency to sort my life out, to sign my contract for next year and know where I am headed, to know what my future will be.

Korea- So I thought, coming back to Korea would be an opportunity to save more money and return to a place where I am comfortable, "where everybody knows your name" kind of lifestyle. I could leave many of my belongings here when I go home, making the traveling and relocating that much easier. Would I stay in Suncheon or relocate to a different city? I have seen more of this country than I have of the United States, and most of it looks the same. However, coming back my lifestyle would also be better, I would be in a public school with more vacation and a higher pay. This was what I thought I wanted.

Now I see things a bit more clearly, or more so in a different light. Would I return here and expect the same life? What is the purpose of coming back to a place that isn't home when the main purpose of me doing this is to continue growing, to continue learning about other cultures and to gain as much perspective on my life and my being as possible? Would I being doing it for any other reason then the ease which I could come back to it in? Would I be doing it to come back and continue relationships? Those aren't the reasons to return, a relationship can withstand time and distance when it is meant to be...sometimes you have to find it out the hard way and that isn't something I want to get in to. You aren't meant to run from great people but your aren't meant to form your future around them. I guess that isn't something I had really thought about coming here and now it sits heavy on my brain.

I could nip off to Japan, a great culture, a fun metropolitan atmosphere, where the air is clean and the streets are kimchee and dirt free. Where you can pee in the road and you cant throw your garbage out your window. I could leave my stuff here still, grab it on my way back through, and still be close enough to Korea if I am unable to let some of those relationships go.

Thailand would also be amazing, a mystery to me now as I don't know too much about it, only the stories I had heard and the exotic images I have painted in my head.

Hong Kong is another option, I have heard amazing things about Hong Kong, often times being referred to as a completely separate entity from China. However, I have also heard a lot of mixed things about working in China and have a feeling it is equally as "unclean" as Korea.

I guess the only way to figure all of this out will be a lot of research and a lot of soul searching. I have begun applying for jobs in all of these places and will just do what feels right when the time comes, I'll place it in the hands of fate to make the decision for me, that seems a lot less stressful.

"lets conspire to ignite all the souls that would die just to be alive"

I figured I would take tonight to write and gather myself, to try and plow through the writers block I have found myself in these past few weeks. For the first time in a month I have stopped, looked around and begun to reflect on what is happening around me. Of course, it didn't happen, the block wont dissipate just because i want it to and i have accomplished nothing that I wanted to tonight. I also think it is because it isn't really a block I am in, but rather a persistent voice in my head refusing to let me be honest with myself. You can only really write what you know and figuring that out is often the hardest part.
Coming in to this place in my life I swore off love, I swore off feeling anything for anyone and more so letting myself get attached to anyone in any way. I have now realized that this is both no way to live your life and in no way possible when you are a Cancer, a nurturer by nature, and that although there was a bad fish in your pond, that doesn't necessarily mean that they have all be soured.
Over the past few weeks my soul has kind of been cleansed, my mind has become more at ease and I have gained back some of ability to trust that I had lost. I have that giddy...cant wait until we meet again....middle school like butterfly feeling that I live for, that everyone lives for (i think so at least). What fun is life if you don't have someone to giggle with, to poke fun at and with whom to poke fun at the world with?
Although my life is in a sort of volley, back and forth between everything I thought I knew and the world ahead that I am trying to get a feel for, although I don't have a word that is proper in accordance with the standards society places around relationships to assign to this, right now, in this moment, I am genuinely happy, for the first time in a long time and that is enough for me. Simply happy.